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I have read you letter and I cherish it deeply. It has filled my heart, where sorrow and joy join together. It was gracious of you to send with your letter the gift of flower garlands in a box and sticks of rouge so that I may brighten my hair and lips. Your kindness is great, but for whom would I now wish to look beautiful? Gazing upon your gifts, I sigh with longing and miss you all the more.

Your news that you are prospering in the capital and progressing in your efforts is a comfort to me, though I do fear that you are more likely now to lose interest in me, living here in this far-off rustic place. But this is the working of fate; what use is there in speaking of it again?

Since last autumn I have lived in a daze, as though I had lost something I could not find. During the bustle of the days I may force myself to smiling conversation, but at night when I am alone I find myself weeping. When dreams come to me they are filled with choking throbs and the burden of separation; then somehow I am led back into old times and we are together again – but before our secret tryst reaches its end, I am suddenly startled awake and your phantom vanishes. Though your half of the quilt still seems warm, when I come to my senses I realize how far off you are. Since we parted only yesterday, a new year has suddenly taken the old one=s place.

Chang’an is a city of pleasures and there are many traps there to ensnare your heart. How could I ever be lucky enough that you would not forget one in so lonely and insignificant a place? And were you to keep me first in your thoughts, what would someone so worthless as I have to repay you? As for the vow of eternal faith, that is unaltered in me.

Once, because we were relatives, we were brought together on the night of the feast. My maidservant was enticed and I responded with deep sincerity; but my heart could not stay steadfast to itself. Your temptations were like the melodies of the lute strings, and I could not bear to cut them off with the shuttle of my loom. Then we laid out our mat within one chamber, and our trust was strong and our feelings deep, and my heart was pledged and never can it change. How having seen at last the ruler of my heart could my passions fail to set themselves forever? And bearing now the shame of self-surrender, I am no longer fit to bear the towel and comb for another man. But of this lifelong remorse before me, I should stifle my sighs. What use are words?

When the heart of a man of goodness by chance lowers its gaze to one who is lowly and insignificant, this affection of his life remains fixed until his death. The ambitious man must be spare of affections; he must discard the small to follow the great. His former lover will appear to him a mere partner in vice, and the solemn vows he has sworn to her will seem made to be broken. Yet even after bones have turned to dust and the bodily form decayed, the heart=s true faith does not melt away, but catches in the wind and falls with the dew, and so abides in the realm of the pure. Eternal sincerity – my words must stop here.

Each time I approach this page I am shaken by sobbing and I cannot tell you all that is in my heart. Oh, you must look after yourself well!

I am sending you this jade ring as a token. It was a plaything when I was a little girl, and I want you to wear it among the ornaments of your sash. My thought is of the unchangeability of the rock-hard jade and the unbrokenness of the eternal circuit. I am sending also a skein of thread and a tea-leaf mortar of patterned bamboo. There is no value in these few things. My thought is only that you be as true as jade, that your faith be as unending as the round ring, that the bamboo patterns are the tracks of my tears, and the tangled threads the strings of my cares. By these things may my true feelings reach you and may they be eternal tokens of goodness between us.

The heart is close but the body far; no date is marked for our next meeting. Yet souls filled with secret longings may join together over a thousand miles.

Look after yourself well. The spring wind can bring sickness with it; you must eat well and take care of yourself. Do not let your worthless handmaid burden your thoughts.

 

 

写这封信的人叫崔莺莺，收这封信的人叫……     随便什么，都不重要了。